FMF 007: Divorce Is Not An Option- Covenant or Contract Pt 2


In this episode of The Family Matters First Podcast we continue the discussion on the difference between a covenant and a contract and how divorce not being an option. Go into your marriage with the mindset that divorce is not an option.

More Specifically, In This Episode You’ll Learn About:


The man is the leader in the relationship. You are of equal value but you are not the same. There are different roles.

Biblically a covenant represents a serious commitment between two parties. It is serious.

A question to think about:

If you have a history of failed marriages in your immediate or extended family, what are you going to do differently? This is not a recipe for disaster but it is something to think about.

The covenant of marriage is the single most important human bond that holds all of Gods work on the planet together. It is no small wonder that the Lord is passionate about the sanctity of marriage and the stability of the home. This covenant of marriage is based on the covenant God has made with us, it is in the power of his promise to mankind that our personal covenant of marriage can be kept against the forces that will destroy homes and ruin lives

-Jack Hayford

In ancient times a covenant was the most solemn and binding agreement into which two parties could enter.

Paul makes the analogy in Ephesians 5 between the earthly marriage and the relationship between Christ and the church. The bond between Jesus and his bride forms the new covenant, the spiritual reality for which human marriages are a type

Malachi 2:14


Aspects to consider in a Covenant:

A covenant establishes a bond between two people in this case the husband and wife, at the heart of the bond is a promise, the promise of faithfulness

A covenant establishes obligations, a primary obligation is fidelity, the husband is obligated to lead his wife in love and she is obligated to submit to him in the fear of the Lord.

More to come on the submissive woman but the word submit comes from a military term that means to voluntary place yourself under the authority of another


A covenant is public. It is contracted before witnesses and before God in a ceremony of holy matrimony. It is not simply a private affair.

In a covenant, remember these truths:

Two lives become one

You become identified with the other individual and there is a supernatural joining of lives

It’s an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one Eph 5:31

Your family becomes your spouse’s family

Your desires become your beloved’s desires

Your finances becomes your spouse’s finances

There is a sign to remember which serves as a witness and a memorial (ex: God gave Noah a sign of the rainbow). In a marriage the sign of the seal, the ring.

There is a change in name- as the wife takes on her husband’s name, this change symbolizes the supernatural identity and oneness that God intended for partners who had entered into this marriage covenant

There is a meal shared- a sign that two lives become one

Genesis 18:17-18

As friends in the marriage covenant there should be no secrets kept or concealed from the covenant partner

There are witnesses to testify, the highest being God.

There is a covenant partner to defend- defend your covenant partner’s honor, reputation, etc

Do you clearly understand the diff bt a covenant and a contract?

Would you prefer a covenant marriage or a contract marriage and why?

Do you understand what you are about to do?

Do you understand what you have done?

5 General Characteristics of Contracts

Often made for a limited period of time

Deal with specific actions

Based on an if/then mentality

Motivated by the desire to get something we want

Unspoken and implicit

5 General Characteristics of Covenants

Initiated for the benefit of the other person

Make unconditional promises

Based on steadfast love ‘1 Corinthians 13 love’

View commitment as permanent

Require confrontation and forgiveness

Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

Malachi 2:14

Genesis 9:16

1 Corinthians 11:24-25

Genesis 31

Lose Your Mind Love Your Spouse Episode

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